lostindeseaofinhumanity

RUPA

2010-08-07T01:40:00.000-07:00

I had heard her name whispered.
Among ladies of good 'culture',
In hushed tones it was said....
She was of easy morale!!!
Often at social do's,She would be spite upon.
Away from all these,I wondered what she longed for?
Leaving alone a family of three,Husband,daughter and son of eight,
How could a mother set herself free?
At daybreak,didnt her heart ache,to see her baby's face?
Men may be from Mars,And a wife may get tired,
But a mother?Didnt her heart bleed,
At evenings,whenever she missed her daughter?
Oblivious to my musings,I heard she lives,
In solitary confinement.Away from prying eyes,
Nestled in her mothers care,with the love-child she had,by her lover!
Her lover,a man younger in years,had finally left her.
Its said,inspite of her husbands entreaties,
She had left,her home and children,
Privileges of a blessed life,she had forsaken............
But why?Why does a woman choose to defy?
Known to be a gentile woman,And yet today she is despised!
Does it ever cross her mind,At what cost and why,did she buy this ignominy?Happiness,future,power,position.
She left it all behind!!!!
I fail to gather,how and why did she decide,
To throw it all away,for a whimsical fanciful fly?
Unbeknown to her,I try to find,
The frailities of a human-life,
That often tends to put us on our worst side.
But is it worth a try?
Is she happy,at peace with her love-child?
And the son-daughter she left behind?
They say for them she has all but died!
Will they ever understand,forgive her intrigue?
What she wanted and what she has,
I know not,having never met her,i can hardly justify.
But Rupa,I do think of you,And of your travails too.
At times when I am at the end of my patience,
I close my eyes and remember you.
I have chosen silence,so have you.
And remain ignoramus,no matter whats said by who.

My Grand-Mother

2010-08-07T01:38:00.000-07:00

The earliest memories that i've of her..............
A septugenarian bend over a stove in the kitchen....
Tirelessly taking care of a clan of thirty!
A mother of not less than twelve.............
A dimunitive figure,bent with age,
Constantly smilling an indulgent grandparent.
Never thought of her as an independent entity!
She was just there,would always be.
The same way,it was taken for granted!
And she still is,taken for granted!!!
She lost her partner of seventy years,
And with him,she lost all coherence.
Today she is lost among her myriad worlds,
Walls and roofs around her make no sense.
She belongs to none,a mother of living ten!
Often i find our worlds interconnected,
Drawing inspiration and strength.
To accept the unexpected with as much grace.
At ninety-three almost a cabbage,dependent on others,
Sorrow n joy to whom are same!
The Gen-X have no time for trivials,
To nurture its roots and take care!
Wrapped-up in their own fake world,
Lost in individual rummages!

Closed verses in open relationships......

2010-08-07T01:30:00.000-07:00

These days I often find, Profiles with taglines....
--"in open relationship",they say!
I cant stop wondering, how can a relation be open or shut otherwise?
As far as i have known,relationships function on their own free will.
Limits are not stretchable.Yet parameters may be redefined.
Expectations and obligations,walk beside,
Love and hatred,never precise!
Situations demand to act likewise!
If there is love,then how, can a relation,
be open to further advances undefined?
Love is antiquity now,relationships open!
Hearts closed,dedication passe'.
Commitments rare,promises a mockery!

Megher opare

2010-04-29T00:03:00.000-07:00

Khone khone niruddesher thikanay,
Mon take uriye diye.............
Nil akasher hath-chhani te,
Chokh buje dub di...................

Sagorer amontron firiye,
Tushar-meru te khunji sukti,
Hariye jawa ek ajana pothe,
Kuriye pai mukti.

Sundar-Gadha!

2010-04-28T23:56:00.000-07:00

Songsar korte parena guchiye,
Na sajte-sajate!
Rannaghore mon tekena tar,
Melate parena mashkabarir hiseb!

Kobitar pathay mon porey thake,
Ganer kthaye vase je,
loke bole nari jonmo britha!
Emoni din kate se.

Chele dake ,ma khete dao,
Kintu kobitar chhondo milchena je?
Rannaghore vaat futche,
Ganer sur bandhche se!

Katche din gotanugotik,
Jak kete tobe,khoti ki?
Miliye chhondo,miliye sur,
eivabei cholbe se..............

KOBITA!

2009-11-19T04:58:00.000-08:00

kobita?tumi likhte bolo,
likhte bose,kothar khela,kheyal hoy,pata khola.
Pora boi r sarir pase,tomar sei boi rakha.
lal molate mora,kichu ta ekhono baki pora!

Jiboner khatay anki-buki kata,abujh hater seo bujhi kobita!
valo laga,valobasa,sab asomapto,adhyay gulo, eke-eke muche fela.
Einaki jibon,emon vabei maniye neya,jemonta chao,temon korei pawa.
tao kano moner kone roy jay kichu megher chonya?

Jotil eto vabna-chinta! lekha r amar hoyna sara.
kichu akhorer,kta sobde,bandhbo kmone sab adhora?
tale, chonde,sure,chunye,genthe rakha kichu moner kotha,
tomar r amar moner kti chup-kotha!

4U

2009-05-13T23:37:00.000-07:00

I can die a thosand deaths,every day
For that face.
Keep my thirsty lips parched all day!
Just to see the happiness
In that smile.
For that face,i can bet my life
And all its moments awhile.

Sleep eludes me all night
I keep awake with drowsy eyes.
The silence simmers in summer nights.
Glows and burns my thirsty eyes.
An autumn shower,touches my soul
The cascading sounds of waterfalls
Dark clouds of uncertainty.
Spreads its wings on my entity
Silencing the singing heart.

I can survive for you
For that face
For thousand years.

Freedom

2009-04-29T09:12:00.000-07:00

While u think of mankind,issues larger than life,
I continue to live in bondage!
The luxury to stand on my own feet,
To run,to embrace my longings..........
To feel the azure blue sky,
Inhale the morning breeze at my hearts desire,to fly.............
To exhale without,without having to watch my back,
To laugh,to smile,without being called unmaidenly!
To be able to make friends,without being termed,available!
To be free with freedom,is but a rare dream for me!
While you think of humanity,And matters more important in life,
I still wait,for free air,to fill my bonded lungs and survive.

KICHU KOTHA...............................

2009-04-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Kichu kotha elo melo,kichu sur,mone roy galo.
Kichu mukh na volai valo,hoyto tomake porabe mone amar o....
Sei sediner dekha,kichu bola,kichu sona,kichu chupkotha!
Kan pete sunechilam,buk vore rekhechilam ,
Tomar na bola sab rup kotha.

Tomar hater sei prothom sporose,mone hoyni tomake achena .
Tomar hate hath neya,rangiye diye galo abar ei ocheton mon amar.
Neshaye,urechi ami,amar nil akasher,buke,notun pakha mele.
Abak hoy dekhechi,takei,vebechi ki dussahos tar!

Majhe megher kalo keshe,eka atok ekta ghunri dekhechi ,
Chokhe porechilo tar nissongota,ekai,khunjechilo,nil akash,
Kata-chenra dana niye,urte pareni r !
Aj o pabe dekhte,tar chenra tukro,batasher kane bole jay,
Tar byarthotar golpo!

Amio sunechi,gunechii,rat jegechi,tomake niye vebechi.
Chander paser oi ekla tara take jolte nibhte dekhechi .
R ratrer govir andhokare,ekta sopno dekhechi .
Bondho hoy asa chokher du patay tare dhore rekhechi.

Nobin surjer notun aloy,take roj rangiyechi .
Hain amio rong mekhechi,dol khelechi.
Faguner sei astogami surjer aloy,agun dekhechi .
Vije jawa,vari mon diye tomake dure jete dekhechi......................

Tumi esei chole gele.........

2009-02-19T03:49:00.000-08:00

Tumi esei chole gele,vorer sopno hoy
Adrisyo moner,adrishyo konay
Tumi chile,alekha kobita hoy
Sur miliye,tal gune,lekha puro hoyni je
Tar agei tumi dile,kalir doyat patay choriye.
Sada pata,sadai chilo,kano gele tumi rangiye amay?
Dakini tomake,chai o ni.
Sopno sotti hobe vabio ni!
Tobe kano ele tumi?kano eto jorajuri?
Khelay aj metecho tumi,hote paro tumi khelari!
Ami kintu mon diyechi,se khela tumi paroni.
Jit-har,mora-bancha,legei thakbe asa-jawa.
Hansita mukher dhore rekho,amake naiba mone porlo?
Ami achi,ami thakbo,lekho tumi kintu ami theke dekhabo!
Sopno venge moja pao?chokher jol e mon sukao?
Naiba amay dakle,naiba mone rakhle!
Tobu ami thakbo,dur theke dekhbo,
Valo achi,valo theko.bare barei bole jabo.

Naubo-aloke

2008-12-19T10:50:00.000-08:00

Notun kore abar
Songhorshe jog dilam.
Notun jogge,notun houme,
Korbo atit swaha.

Naubo aloker ei naubo vor e
Ramdhonur rong diye
tomar anka chobite
vore debo ronger bahar.

Tomar sure sur miliye
Gaibo jiboner gan
notun sur r notun tal e
Sajbe notun asor abar......

Shishir!

2008-12-19T10:40:00.000-08:00

Shiter vor e kal
Chokhe porlo hothat
Ek bindu shishir
ghaser sis e se nijeke diyechilo dhora.

Take dekhe holo mone,
Ashrukona,se kar chokher?
Atripto moner prokash?
sara rat jhore jawa borosoner
ghat-protighat!

Puber lal akashe,dhoreche sona rong
Hariye jabar somoy hoy elo tar.
Firey jabe se eibar.

Kono ek vore jodi abar
mone ase tomar
firey asbo ami, chokh vejate tomar!

bancte chai

2008-12-19T10:37:00.000-08:00

Ami banchte cheyechilam
Tomar chokhe valobasa
Dekhte cheyechilam.

Jibone duhath bariye
Sudhui moron cheyechilam!

Tomar chokhe banchte cheyechilam.
Valolagar abeshe
Valobaste cheyechilam!

Sudhu tomar hoy
Thakte cheyechilam.....

@40!

2008-12-19T10:28:00.000-08:00

Nearly forty and comfortably fat;
looking at the mirror,
I was satisfied!!!

Had nearly wrapped up the innings;
with a neat score.
just a few years more...
and I could settle down by the shore.

The boys would be set,
hoping for the best!
And then I could get some rest.
The years as it is,
had left behind scars
of long never ending gorges
and ravines,tearing a corpse apart!

Yet the rivers of life
never ceased to bathe her
keeping the fires burning
leaving her amazed forever!

silence.

2008-09-14T04:36:00.000-07:00

Ever heard silence speak?
Ever heard it cry?
Ever seen it scream,like U n I?
I see then every day,speaking not a word,
I see it in the eyes of a maid,
who has to work inspite of a broken finger!
I see a silence scream,when an xasperated mother,
wants her son to eat!
I want to scream,when all i want to do is sit and cry.

musings.......

2008-09-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

Dark days----

when the sky is dark and the wind howls past
when there arent any stars
to show us the pathleading to the father above
when the devils threaten in your sleep
do you wonder,were God ever alive!
behind the closed doors and windows
crying their hearts out
i see helpless souls in myriad colours of shame
waiting for absolution....

you- --

When the world seems unfair
wish u were near
to tell me that you cared
not so much in words if you may
just a loving smile will be ok
a touch on the shoulder,
a caring glance across
thats all i ask of you ,LIFEin this world.

failure- --

When life seems standstill do you have a feeling ?
to analyse the worth of your living???
as much as i hate to admit
yet thats what i feel ,these days
evermore... i know it hurts to admit,
but i have to say---
i have been a failure all my life indeed.

friend---

Dont get upset with life
theres more to it than just meets the eye!
open up your heart,lay out the parts
which ache much.dnt strip your soul
of secret sacred feelings of love!
pullout that which are stinging
dnt let anyone mar the beauty
of GODs divinity.

thoughts- --

In a few lines ,of a few words.
wayward dreams like streams
flow down tumbling, bubbling, delighting!
like drops of blood from my flesh
these thoughts of mine
like sapllings unnurtured!
will they survive ;the storm of life?

wilderness---

long stretch of wildernes, within me or about me?
a puzzle for me! not a soul can be seen
on an destitution like this!
frantically searching for an oasis!

She! ---

In a dark world she livesand in blank verses she sings
a melancholic song that sweeps all beautifull things away
She lives in her world alone
doing her sins atone!
crying to be blesssedwith new sings again...
a forlorn figure, withering away.
could Gods creation help such sway?
mercy!mercy!all do pray..

avisaar---

ratrer avisar
churi kora kichu upohar
mone pore sei chele belar khelaghor
sajano sab putuler ghor
aj vanga-chora sab
neiko r kono protikar
bolte chai, o mon,khule dao sab bandhon
vasiye diye ei vela
chole jai sab vule,ei parthib protikha.......

surjo-tara

2008-09-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

sara akash vora tara,
tao ami aj o eka,
tumi jante chao,ami kano eka?
achi apekhyay,jani thik pabo dekha!
sei surjo sei hobe amar dhrubo tara.
jar sporshe pabo jibon dorshoner dekha.

ekta khin prochesta matro amar,
jani jabena tao britha,
Jodi chhunye jay tomae,aamar se byatha.
majh somudreo,thake je pipasa.
sei bodhoy valobasa,
jar nam roy galo ajana.

ways of life

2008-02-20T12:09:00.000-08:00

Strange are the ways of life
it has its own whims to try
doesnt let you have your way
but still woudnt let you get away!
whatever it has to offer,
may not always be nice,
but then you dont have much choice!
it takes you by surprise
throwing open the skies
and then drags you down the crevice
leaving you with unexplained agonies!
and none any wise
showing at your face your vice.
the more you try
the greater is the strain
against its wishesthe lesser you retain
its better to just move along
the train of life
letting it beget
youthe best bargain!

MON

2008-02-10T01:12:00.000-08:00

Chere diyechi ami sur
Khule diyechi ami taal
mele diyechi aj ami anchol
Vule gechi sab montrer jaal.....
Akasher thikanaye likhechi chithi,
uriye diyechi.na naam,na paati!
tumi sudhale ,jodi tarena chinte pari?
Shono tobe boli tomake,
pran e jodi tar baje,
Amar moner dhwoni,
parbena se erate,
jotoi na dik bidhi,haatchaani.
Mon jokhon mon ke daake,keu ki pare,take vule thakte?

BELA HOLO SESH.

2008-01-09T05:41:00.000-08:00

Din katlo,bela goralo,
Dupur seshe,sondhya namlo ese,
Pakhi dana mele,ure elo nirey.
Songhorso holo sesh,ei diner moto,
surjo abar lal holochokher pata ek korte,
mayer kole chele firlo .
Hanta-cholar poth
Jon o sunyo holo
Tao,amar r bari fera holona to!
Poth hoy sesh,
Jatri tao thamena,
khunje more,
Ek chilte akash r megh!
Ei morubhumir balite,
Sudhui cactuser bhir,
Valobasar modhute,
vejate aseni to megh.

RATRI JANE!

2008-01-09T05:40:00.000-08:00

Ratri jane,aj ami eka,
se jane ami korechi obohela.
Ratri jane aj amar chokhe andhar,
se jane aj r neiko kono bahar.
Ratri jane ami aj shranto,
se jane kano ami klanto!
Ratri jane,chene ei nirobota.
Sei je guneche amar byetha!
Ratri jane ami daki kare,
se jane,ami je cheyechi sudhui tare.
Ratri jane,se aj sudhui smriti,
se jane ami michei jol feli!
Ratri jane aj ami niruddesh,
se jane aj amar nirobota sesh!
Ratri jane aj sob nishesh,
vor holei r thakbena to kono biddesh.

nona

2008-01-09T05:33:00.000-08:00

kotoki roye jaye olekha,
kotha jano moner i byetha,
jara kokhono swad payeni nona,
tader kache sob i ojana.
chokher oi beronga jole
koto swopner bhangachora,
theke jaye pore,
tar i bhognagsho.
tumi ekai boye cholo,
ei moner kotha!

bondhu tumi....

2008-01-09T05:30:00.000-08:00

bondhu!tumi ele amar cholar pothe,
thomke danriye dekhi,
kamon ei paharer shitol hawa je
ele tumi kon desher theke,
niye kon songbader resh tene
ekaki besh chilam bhalo,
tumi ese ki mayaye bandhle bolo?
ami aj o nei kothao,
sei sudhu fanka janla khola
shikher opor pordar dola,
jano ki koto din-rat
ese fire gache hoye mor duar?
tao ami dakini,vebechi mon niye r khela korini.

JODI BOLI?

2008-01-09T05:28:00.000-08:00

Jodi boli ,jabo chole,
Amake ki tumi dakbena?
Jodi boli thakbona ar,
Amake ki tumi atkabena?
Jodi boli thambona ar,
Amake ki tumi dhore rakhbena?
Jodi boli hariye jete chai,
Amake ki tumi khunjbena?
Jodi boli here gechi,
Amake ki jetabena?
Jodi boli mrityu kamona kori?
Amake ki tumi bandhbena???

tomay peyechi!

2008-01-09T05:23:00.000-08:00

jano,ami tomay dekhechi!
amar oi chokher pataye dhorechi!
surjodoyer oi rangalo bhore,
ami tomaye joriye rekhechi,
tomari bahupase,ami nijeke sunechi.
aamar buker oi rinijhini,
jano thik tomar golay baje!
tomar buke matha rekhe,
aj ami nijeke bhulechi.
tomar i kache je amijibon peyechi!
jano,ami sukh dekhechi!
tomar oi chokhe amar rup dekhechi
tuli diye ankte giye
ronger thalaye rong na peye
tomar hathe ronger chonya dekhechi,
jano,ami tomay peyechi!!

brishty

2008-01-09T05:21:00.000-08:00

aakash cheye megh jomeche,
jano amar mon voreche,
diner ei pratohkal e,
jano thik rat nemeche,
joler ei ojhor dharay,
koto dhulai dhuye gache,
tao jano ei moner konay,
kothaye ektu jhul jomeche,
sobuj pataye joler chonya,
jano jibon dhele diyeche,
tao kanogo amar sara gaye aj agun legeche??
cheye tomaye ei brishti dharaye,
amar chokheo shrabon jomeche!
akasher bukete aj jano,prithibita rong mekheche!!!

BYETHA

2008-01-09T05:17:00.000-08:00

koto kotha-koto byetha.
koto kotha, koto byetha,
sudhu tomake chaoa,
brishti veja sondhyay,
tomar kotha vaba.
eka thaka,mone rakha,
joto sopno sob tomar sathe dekha,
aj r nei kono sara.
amar sob sara.sei brishti te veja,
r akasher sathe kanda,
chokh na muchei hansa,
tomar chere jawa,
aj o mane khunje na pawa,
bose bose apon mone,
vabi tai gopone,
vule ami achi,
na gacho tumi bhule.

LIFE

2008-01-09T05:11:00.000-08:00

LIFE!
Around the plains,under the trees;
there lie my remains,near the sea;
I lay there bare among the meadows;
All the hills n streams are my shadows!
Buried in angst and gorged in hate,
burns my soul in deep regret,
not a hand to carry along,
not a face to call my own.
where existence is but a pittance.
a teardrop,a mere cry of pain!
an ache that was never felt;
a scream,a single despairing strain.
left among the dead,
furnished with stale breath,
to carry on a meagre,sum of glances!
tired eyes fail to find,a glow of light in the furnace of life.......

moning red

2007-09-29T00:29:00.000-07:00

And yesterday I saw you standing by the river,
And weren't those tears that filled your eyes?
And all the fish that lay in dirty water dying,
Had they got you hypnotized?
And yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers,
But all that lives is born to die.
And so I say to you that nothing really matters,
And all you do is stand and cry."

That's the way Lyrics by Led Zeppelin.

VERMILLION

2007-09-29T00:16:00.000-07:00

my feelings for sure,
a shadow of death of morrow,
pledges gone awry,promises broken;
wings clipped,never to be spoken,
shielded doors and barred windows,
vermillion makes life so suffocatingly narrow.

DISHARMONY

2007-09-29T00:14:00.000-07:00

Of jarring speeches n soulless voices
Of barefoot travails n painful cries
Ears of silence n speaking time.
Unending paths of winding chaos
Of lost spaces n forever long eons
Of dead carcasses lost in sea of inhuman faces.
The dragging,stumping feet of unthinking masses
The story of all mundane lives
The loss of innocence n songless tribes.
Tears of morbidity in sleepless eyes
Scentless flowers in burning pyres
Islands of destitutions n insipid relations!
Despairing thoughts n stunted dialogues
Sacred blessings n patched histories
Departed values n never ending queues.
The list is long n overdue,
The mind is numb n forever accrue
Times have come n eons gone through,yet mankind awaits solitude.

THE LOST CROWN

2007-09-29T00:12:00.000-07:00

When the heart is spent n only the tears remain,
Like mute spectators to mass destruction,
Anarchy prevails where monarchy reigned!
Loss of the crown,costs no bounds,
But then whoever spent trinkets on tearlets,
A silent tear awaits its death.In my search of solemnity n serenity,
I gave-up my identity n piety,Only to be reimbursed with hostility.
Lost in the sea of inhumanity,
My soul awaits a divinity!
An intervention,Seeking intently!!!

RUBLINGS.

2007-09-29T00:09:00.000-07:00

The deep rumblings of loneliness,the soul longings of existence.
washed away by the tears of sadness,i find etched in your presence!
the echoes of my unhappiness,pour out of your breathlessness,
when i try and touch you,theres only numbness!
the ache,the hurt,the burnt scents,all remind me of the fakeness
of roads traversed off-beaten!
dreams unseen,energies unspent,false pretenses and lost senses
,miles travelled and yet goals remain!
the faint sounds of tear drops,like a babys wailling sob
,searching for her final resting place!